Day Three–Closets Create Space

Full disclosure. I did not venture into the closets today. My morning began in the usual fashion. I was almost finished with the edits that my fantastic proofreaders found in Saving Atlantis. I had to get it done. Then self-care could not be ignored, so I went to Lynn’s wonderful Baptiste class. I was with Karen, one of the proofreaders, and I had some questions about her comments. We discussed it over refreshments at Uncommon Grounds.

I came home, finished the edits. The 10th draft is looming over my head. Time to reread the manuscript. Then I filled out an application for the Albany Book Festival in September, which is important for my business.

By that time, Stephen came home, and we watched the end of the World Cup Soccer semi-finals. I won’t go into my disappointment that England lost.

I had promised Luke I would go on a date with him to a car show. We rode our motorcycles, talked to Camaro enthusiasts, and ate dinner. We saw our friend’s new motorcycle–Fat Bob and of course had to go over every detail! I walked the dogs and now it’s 9:30pm.

I thought about the closets and feel like they aren’t a high priority, but they are on the list. What to do? I could berate myself for falling off the create space wagon or I can give myself a break and start over tomorrow.

I still have editing to do and tomorrow is cleaning bathroom cabinets, indexing my journals, and transferring personal files to storage to create that essential space on my computer. I’m falling behind, but I did leave some time on Saturday to make up for whatever I didn’t get done.

Even though I didn’t do what was scheduled, I had a great day. I want to share a book I’m reading about having less to make room for what matters. It’s called The Year of Less by Cait Flanders. She doesn’t necessarily give you a guidebook on how to live with less and be happier. It’s more of a memoir on why she decided to put restrictions on her purchasing and how living simply helped her mentally and physically.

theyearofless

I’m not quite finished, so the rest of the evening will be filled searching for inspiration in a book!

Day One–Office Create Space

I made it through the first day of creating space in my life and home. I decided to go with the highest priority and clear out my office. Anything I decided to throw away, recycle, or place in a different storage place was handled once. I knew if I put boxes in the kitchen, they would still be there.

By 1pm, there still wasn’t much room on the floor. I felt slightly overwhelmed, but I had cleaned the closet, the drawers, and my bookcase. I managed to clean out my cabinet, remove boxes and throw out a couple bags of garbage and fill the recycling bin halfway. I even cleaned out my desk!

My current office was Nick’s bedroom. I still had his martial arts decor and many of his clay and ceramic figurines on my bookshelf. I decided that part of creating space was changing the decor to reflect my personality. I felt sick to my stomach removing his throwing stars, nunchucks, dragon banner, and his clay creations. I took photos of all his items, so I have those memories. I removed his burgundy and black curtains and packed them in a box. I went into the spare room to find his matching sheets and couldn’t find them. If you saw the room, you would understand why. It has been the catch all place for everyone.

I was frustrated I couldn’t find it, so tried again before I brought the box downstairs. I caught sight of it under some artwork. When I lifted the papers, I found my leather vest that has been missing for a couple of months! I laughed, because if I hadn’t decided to change the decor it would have taken me a while longer to find my vest. It was like Nick was letting me know it was all right.

True to my self-care schedule, I went to Sheryl’s Baptiste class at 4:30pm. Sheryl taught a heart opening class, and it was perfect for my intention. Open space for something new. I felt fabulous after class. The day was going well.

After yoga, I got distracted by dinner, but I accomplished a lot. I still need to decorate the room, create a cozy meditation area, and go through my business and writing files. This last part is going to be done next week I think. It will be a longer process, but I have the space to do it now.

I feel good. Tomorrow is the kitchen. This will be easier I hope! The only flaw is I planned to clean out the fridge, but I just went food shopping yesterday! So the family will be charged with eating a lot this week and it will get moved to the weekend action plan.

Thank you for your support! Love the encouraging words!

Combating Self-Doubt

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Photo by Alyssia Thomas

I strongly dislike the days when self-doubt takes over. When no matter what I try that feeling of I have no business doing what I’m doing lingers over me and grows like black mold. That was my day today. Despite the fact that I stayed home, sat my butt in the chair and did work, nothing felt right. I was frustrated by my lack of spark. Finally, I took my dogs and walked away.

Removing myself from my self-doubt is like walking away from a dangerous situation. If I stay in it, I may not be able to get out whole. I needed to protect myself, my self-esteem, and my energy. I decided to work it out. The physical exertion of yoga pushed me out of my head and into the moment and the power of me. By physically releasing my frustration, I beat at that self-doubt. How can I not be enough when I am physically challenging myself and kicking butt?

I gave myself the space and stepped away from what wasn’t working. I wrote about why I do what I do and what I want to give and share with others. For whatever reason, I couldn’t see it today and that’s OK. Sometimes that self-doubt actually serves to ignite the fire in me so it burns off my darkness and lets my light shine through.

Write down why you do what you do, what you want to share with the world, and how you will let your light shine. Burn that self-doubt away.