Sometimes Beginning Again Sucks

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It’s a nasty Monday morning. I went to bed with the intention of getting up early, meditating, and getting back to my yoga mat and harmony in my life. I didn’t get to bed as early as I wanted, texts from my son kept me awake, and my belly is angry at me because of the food I ate this weekend. I haven’t been dedicated to my yoga recently and basically I’m cranky!

A big part of my yoga and journaling practice is the mantra ‘begin again.’ Yes if I eat Girl Scout cookies and my belly hurts, I know if I wait long enough that horrid feeling will go away and the next time I see cookies, I can say to myself, “Don’t Eat Them!” But sometimes I just want a cookie. But I know I shouldn’t eat them, because they upset my stomach. And when my stomach is upset, the possibility of having a soulful yoga class is completely out of the question, because my body feels like someone dropped me in a deep murky lake with a cement block tied to my feet, and I’m sinking fast.

For me, the idea of beginning again whether it’s the next day or the next minute of my day is about figuring out how to let those bad choices go. Yes I missed yoga for a week, because I’m concentrating on another goal and I have too much on my plate and I’m putting myself second. It happened, but today I’m going to yoga, and although I’ll suffer through the class because of my bad choices, I have made a great choice to be there. Hopefully that wonderful feeling will seep into every area of my life.

Beginning again is also about being able to find that space between the emotions that cause the need for the bad choice and the action that is caused by the emotion, the stress or whatever it is. For me it’s usually emotions and that sense of being overwhelmed.

So today I may not be very yogi-like. I may be pissed off and playing catch up, but I will forgive myself, go to yoga, and begin again. Sometimes that all I can do.

What are you going to begin again today?

 

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