Today my mom asked me to fix the back of her hair with a comb. She said it didn’t have to be perfect. I asked, “Do you remember who you asked to fix your hair?” She laughed, because I am the last person you want to fix something if you want it to be perfect.
On the weekend when we are doing chores or hanging around the house, Luke will ask if his hair is sticking up in the back. I’ll move his hair around and tell him it looks fine. He’ll grumble and say he’ll get his cap. It’s not that his hair looks bad. A few pieces may be out of line, but I like it.
Then there’s ironing. Again my son or husband will ask if a shirt needs to be ironed. I’ll take it, give it some firm whips through the air, and hand it back. It looks good, I’ll say. They will either get the iron or find something else. I will admit that if you want to torture me, then ask me to iron something.
It’s not that I’m lazy or don’t care about how my loved ones look. It’s that I really think it’s fine. I don’t need to have every hair in place. Have you seen my hair? It’s usually going in every direction, which is how it’s been since I was three years old. I think I am a product of my hair. I flourish in chaos. I enjoy looking at life off center and feel most balanced when everything else is off kilter.
Now for those of you who need everything perfectly placed, close your eyes, because the following picture will throw your day off completely!
I took these photos. There are two more to the right. It’s the evolution of the sunflower. I actually hung them up by myself, and yes, they are always crooked. I have tried straightening them out, but they never stay. Quite frankly, it doesn’t bother me.
Should I be bothered that being off center doesn’t bother me? I’m not really sure, but I don’t think so. Sometimes it just is. As Popeye would say:
Are there parts of me that I wish were perfect or improved or different? Sure. Does it affect how I live my life? Sometimes. How can I get around those thoughts to live fully as I am and meant to be? Acceptance. Acceptance isn’t giving up, it’s letting go of those expectations that are sometimes impossible to meet. It’s loving myself as I am at this very moment.
Write about a part of you physically or personality wise that you are completely happy with or doesn’t bother you in the least. Why doesn’t it bother you? Why are you content?
Next, take a habit, a personality trait or perhaps something physical that you have never been happy about and ask yourself why this is so? Does everything have to be in its place all the time? Does it affect your mood if it’s not? Does it cause problems with other family members or with how you feel about yourself? What can you do to accept this part of you? Do you truly love yourself?