As I went up to bed last night to read, I also carried my two journals with me. Even though my mind was set on reading, I opened my personal journal and recorded my day. Journaling is a gift that I give myself every day. It grants me the opportunity to decompress and let out the emotions, both good and bad, of my day. I believe it has a direct impact on how I sleep and possibly what I dream about.
I can sort out any issues I’m facing, and it allows me to take a step back to see if I handled a situation well or maybe not so much. I can review what I could have done better or what worked. Sometimes it’s just a spewing out of all the crap that weighed me down or how completely I wasted my day. Then once it’s written down, I let it go.
Then I lay my personal journal aside metaphorically and physically and open Stephen’s journal. There are times when a couple days or a week goes by, and I haven’t written to Stephen. I feel terrible, because it’s very hard to remember the details of what we have spoken about, what’s going on in our lives, and news of the world. I will look back at my calendar and fill in some spaces, but writing to him every day holds so much more active energy. I hate having to recap. It can be a quick note and sometimes it’s a diatribe of different phrases he said or a new artist he likes or about whatever is going on in his life. I enjoy the minute details, because this is what he’s going to read years from now. This is my gift to him, and it’s more precious than any other gift I can give him.
After I’ve written for 30 minutes, my eyes are too tired to read words, so I lay my head on my pillow. No I didn’t get to read, but I got to create. I chose to share my thoughts and record the world as I see it. Journaling heals me, so it’s something as important to me as brushing my teeth or eating right.
Check in on your journaling. Do you perceive journaling as a gift to yourself? Is it a chance to take time just for you? How can you change your mindset and do the journaling that you want to be doing? If you are, then that’s great! Keep it going. It’s never too late to start!