This morning I woke up and thought of Ryan, a young man who passed away a year ago today from cancer. He planned to attend college and was at that stage of his life where he was excited to venture off on his own. The first year of losing a loved one feels impossible, but our minds numb us to the pain. For me the second year was harder after losing my son. I think it was because I was no longer numb and felt the loss.
What helped me and has continued to see me through missing him even after 8 years are the signs that Nick sends to me, letting me know that he is alright. Nick always had a strong connection to and love of hawks. Hawks can often be seen around my area, but they would show up as I was thinking about Nick or when I was especially sad. Sometimes they would fly in 2 or 3’s so I knew he wasn’t alone.
Music is another way that Nick checked in. A song would come on the radio as I started the car and it was as if the words were meant specifically for me. My dreams are a big connector to my son. I have often dreamt of him at the age he was when he passed and also as a baby. When we interact, it’s like having my own personal videoconference with him.
Other people have often told me about their dreams of Nick or his signs to them such as seeing a rainbow on his birthday or getting goose bumps on just the right arm.
No connection or sign is wrong, as long as you feel it’s positive and helpful. Knowing what those signs are and writing about them opens your senses to be aware when they happen. Do you have specific signs from a loved one who has passed? What are they? How do you feel when it happens? Is there someone you have recently lost that you would love a sign from? Try writing a letter to that person. Write about some wonderful memories, places where you visited and activities you did together. What reminds you of them–a song, a book, a certain day of the year, or a pet. Ask them to send you a sign and be ready to accept. I hope today Ryan’s family receives a sign knowing their boy is with them always.